When beef gets short, a lot of cowboys
are forced to do without. The cook must come up with meatless meals. The
following recipes are from the Cowboy Vegetarian Cookbook.
TENNIS
SHOE TONGUE: Select an old one. The price is better and it may have
picked up some natural flavor depending on where it has been worn.
Boiling is suggested but it may also be fried to a crisp and served on a
bed of marinated sweat shirt. Garnish with pickled shoe string.
SEED
CORN CAP PIZZA: Carefully clean with a fish scaling knife. Remove all
metal buttons, rivets and any plastic tabs. Flatten the cap by soaking
in linseed oil then placing it underneath a door mat that gets heavy
use. Once pliable cover it with lots of cheese and ketchup. Dry kibbles
or dust motes may be sprinkled as a topping for variety.
MEADOW
HAY SALAD: Choose a bale toward the middle of the stack. Break the bale
being careful to remove any plastic twine. Take a flake and winnow it
over the garage floor. Then chop the stems with a heavy blunt utensil
like a bucket or hoe. For dressing, pound a kumquat sized piece of 17
percent protein block on a flat surface and add vinegar. Croutons
chipped from corn cobs or diced styrofoam may be tossed in. Feed
whatever is left to the cows.
FAN BELT
FAJITAS: The most succulent fan belt can be found on old farm equipment
molding in your boneyard. It should be sliced into bite-sized chunks.
Tenderize before cooking
by soaking in fingernail polish remover. Fry in lard along with half a
hatful of 3/4 inch black plastic hose and shredded playing cards. Serve
with beer and jalapeños. It tastes a lot like abalone.
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