There really are only two kinds of people
in this world, those who prefer being inside and those who prefer being
outside. I have devised this little test to see which kind you are.
1. A “turtleneck” (a) is something you wear to your daughter’s dance recital, (b) something you eat in a soup.
2. If you use the phrase “I made a killing” you mean (a) you doubled your money on a tech stock, (b) you filled your deer tag.
3.
If you drive by a feedlot you (a) roll up the windows to keep the smell
out of your Prius or Leaf, (b) roll down the windows in your pickup to
mask any evidence of your own mighty muffler.
4.
If a family member comes home and says they hit a deer it means (a)
there will be body damage to fix on your Lexus or Tesla, (B) you’ll have
a freezer full of venison.
5. You have a month-long lease on (a) a time share in New York, (b) a hunting lease in Texas.
6. You have drunk out of (a) one of those fancy water bottles from Fiji, (b) a water trough.
7. You ride a bicycle (a) at the gym that doesn’t go anywhere, (b) with two wheels.
8.
If you finish off a 32 ounce soda while driving down the Interstate and
feel the need to pee you (a) wait until the next rest area, (b) pull
your truck over and pee on your back right tire while waving to fellow
motorists as they whiz by.
9. For
lunch (a) on rare occasions you pack a picnic basket filled with
croissants and wine, (b) you pack a lunch box five days a week with a
bologna sandwich, chips, and a HoHo.
10. To you the term “sleeping bag” refers to (a) your snoring spouse, (b) your bed on hunting or fishing trips.
11. Your horsepower is supplied by (a) a BMW, (b) a Bobcat, Caterpillar or an actual horse.
12. Your best friend is (a) an “animal companion”, (b) a dog named Del Monte because he eats out of cans.
13.
You think “getting back to nature means (a) buying your food at the
Farmer’s Market, (b) growing your own food in something called a
“garden.”
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