Cowgirl Sass & Savvy

Ropers and relatives

by Julie Carter

We've all got them. Relatives, kinfolk, family - or whatever you call them in polite company. You can also add to that list a brand of cowboy called "roper."

You know the ones. They show up on your doorstep after a decade among the missing and are just sure you are thrilled to see them. 

However, it's also a given that they are running from the law, an ex-someone or a catastrophic event of nature. And, they need food and money.

In the continuing saga of "Deliverance-style" relatives, the phone rang one night last week.

Long-lost cousin Leeza was on the other end of the line. The last time she had appeared on the doorstep was when Hurricane Katrina was causing a mass exodus from the coastal areas. 

She arrived with a couple of horses and a pig in the trailer and all her worldly belongings.

Leeza announced that she and her sister Dixie are coming next week to stay a couple days. 

She made it sound like it was simply time for a family visit, but the truth be known, she is sure the world is ending December 2012, so she wants to tell everyone goodbye and collect any family heirlooms that might be up for grabs. 

Dixie is the one who occasionally works at Walmart when things get tight, but her real career and way to make a living is raising doves. I didn't inquire how that was going.

Giving a family update during her call, Leeza reported that the cousin who plays the banjo is now teaching banjo at the local college. 

She said he came by this way frequently and always intends to stop and visit but cannot remember what town I live in. 

He has a law degree. I assured her it was fine, that it was likely a good distance out of the way for him to come by.

The other cousin who either runs underwater seismographic equipment looking for deep water oil in the Gulf or plays in a rock band, whichever he is not mad at that week, has now begun to supplement his income with raising chickens. 

Leeza had asked him what he was doing with all those chickens and he told her that they provide all the fresh eggs they could ever want. 

Pointing out that one can only eat so many eggs, he told Leeza that he has further diversified his sources of income by selling fresh eggs "here and there." 

A college degree can get you amazing opportunities. 

The usual suspects that come to practice at Jake's roping arena were invited to come to a Tuesday night dinner party. 

For people who rope and rodeo, Tuesday is more likely to be "open" for socializing.

Many important events for rodeo people happen on Tuesdays - weddings, funerals, birthday celebrations, anniversaries. 

They are too busy competing on weekends to attend those kinds of things.

On Monday night, things started to unravel the short, but elite, guest list. 

Fred called and his dad was "real sick" and he and his wife needed to rush down to see him.

Fred's brother J.D., also invited to the dinner, would be going as well.

Tuesday morning another call reported that Gary's daughter, who has been going to have a baby for about six weeks, was now headed for a C-section today, tomorrow or sometime. 

Gary would be standing by at the hospital and unable to attend dinner.

The realtor gal, who wanted to meet the roper crowd and had every intention of attending, called to say she was tied up in a house deal the other side of Hades and would not be able to make it.

And the last holdout, Les the super looper, called and postponed his arrival time three times, whittling it down from dinner to a 10 p.m. cocktail only. He never did show up and has not been heard from yet.

At the 11th hour, Fred called again to say he and his wife would be there after all. Daddy wasn't as sick as they thought. 

However, J.D. called to say he was still going to stay and sit with Daddy but would be happy to come by for dinner next week. While that hadn't yet been planned, it seemed it was going to be.

Some days the thought crosses one's mind to simply put a sign on the door that says: "Gone somewhere. Be back in the sometime." 

2/20/11