I’ve always felt that some of the
smartest people in America call South Dakota home. Maybe all that time
waiting for it to warm up is spent watching Jeopardy marathons.
What
got me to thinking about smart people was a letter I got from one, my
friend Russell in South Dakota. Russell told me about an appraisal he
did on a 20 degree below day that was 18 miles off the paved highway
with six foot snow drifts on both sides of the road. In other words, it
was your typical beautiful South Dakota day. When Russell finally
reached civilization he noticed the requisite row of old trucks,
tractors and other rusty antiques parked in a long line that you’d find
on any South Dakota ranch. All except one vehicle, that is. A late
model, black limousine.
Russell was in
the process of saying goodbye but there was something bothering him and
he couldn’t leave without asking, “What’s with the limo?”
It
seems the ranch owner had a real dilemma about a wedding. (Don’t all
men?) His was a problem known to all who live out beyond the boonies: a
lack of services. His son was getting married and the bride had her
heart set on riding in style. And a 1895 Studebaker Coach pulled by a
pair of matched Percherons, the same ones used for feeding the cows,
wasn’t it. No, she wanted a real limo… the longer, the blacker, the
better.
The problem is if you’re in
the area and you Google the word “limousine” the first ten responses
will direct you to a breed of cattle. Still, his son didn’t want to
disappoint his new wife right out of the gate. If she had her heart set
on a limo, a limo she would have.
The
nearest limo operator they could find had a standard $300 rate, which
sounded high but beggars can’t be choosers. But that was before all the
add-ons: there was a motel charge, a fuel charge and a special $1,500
charge. That was because the wedding coincided with prom night. And
because the old limo hadn’t been serviced lately there’d likely be extra
charges for parts, like an oil filter, new set of plugs, oh, and one
tire looked kinda “iffy”. Did I mention that the limo driver also owned
the local auto parts store?
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