I am a voracious reader of obituaries
about people I don’t know and I’ll admit that some obits I read with a
deep sense of sadness, and a few with just a smidgin of joy. One
conclusion I’ve reached is that far too many obituaries are either too
long, or too short. Many people who have led very full, rich and
rewarding lives get only a short paragraph or two, while scoundrels,
mass murderers, rapists, crooks and career politicians get half a page.
Death
is like religion and politics in that it’s not something you are
supposed to write or talk about, and I do so in this instance with great
respect. I have stared death directly in the face a couple times myself
and believe me, it is no trifling matter. Life is funny sometimes, but
death never is. Having said all that, I feel I simply must address the
issue of less-than-flattering obituaries about folks who deserve better.
Let’s
face it, we won’t all die at the peak of our obituary value and often
times our many virtues and accomplishments aren’t remembered when people
are grieving. And I ask you, do you really want to leave the
composition of your obituary up to an angry ex-wife, someone who can’t
write, or a bunch of ungrateful stepchildren that were left out of your
Last Will and Testament?
I
didn’t think so. The only way to make sure that all your achievements
and good qualities are mentioned in the final summary of your life is to
write your obituary yourself.
Do-it-yourself obituaries, that’s what I’m talking about. Because death is no time to be humble.
I’ve
written my own obit, hopefully well ahead of its publication date, and
it’s so good I can hardly wait to die to have people read about me. Now
you too can write your own obit thanks to my new business idea: DIY
Obits. Here’s just a sampling of the obituary templates I hope to be
offering soon:
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