Sunday, May 17, 2020

Lee Pitts: One Too Many

I understand a lot of folks have quit looking for work and are out of a job, an experience I’ve never had as an adult because I’ve never had a job to be unemployed from. I’ve never belonged to that class of people known as “salarymen” and haven’t had to dust off my resume in over 40 years.
I never knew what I wanted to be when I was growing up but I was sure of one thing… I didn’t want to work by the hour. I did that in the fruit orchards as a high schooler, and later in the oilfields as a college student, and I swore I’d never do that again! Right now I couldn’t tell you within two dollars what the minimum hourly wage is, which is what I’d be making if I entered the job market. One of the big reasons why I’m self-employed is that I’m the only person who would hire me. Another reason is that if I ever did get into a position where I was truly paid for what I was worth I’d starve to death. I could’t live on that little.
Besides not wanting to work by the hour, I never wanted to sell myself short to some big corporation. I don’t take orders well, I’m more stubborn than a one-eyed mule, never did play well in the sandbox, and I don’t respond well to people of authority. I’m just not the corporate type. I hate meetings and memos, and I only own one suit, which I’ve worn exactly once. I’m a lousy salesman and I’m not a team player. I wouldn’t last thirty minutes as a Walmart greeter. I’d tell those customers where to go!
Granted, there are downsides to working for yourself. I can’t ask for a raise or complain to the boss. (I suppose I could but it wouldn’t do any good.) I have no pension, golden parachute, or safety net, and without my wife’s medical insurance I’d be in debt to the doctors for over a million bucks. Talk about homeland insecurity!
I also do a lot of things I’d be fired for if I worked for a big corporation...

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