As part of my ongoing “Take An Urbanite Outdoors Program” I recently took an 18 year old boy outdoors at the request of his parents who are worried that playing video games and texting with his friends 14 hours a day might somehow inhibit his development. I met Drew at his bio-containment facility (house) as the Covid crisis was easing and where he’d been sheltering in place for the past 18 years.
“Now Drew, to introduce you to the wonderful world you’ve been missing we’ll start out real easy by taking what is known as a “walk” from your house to where I live on the edge of a big state park. Can you remember when was the last time you went outside?”
“Yeah, it was terrible. The Internet went down and my dad made me take out the trash. It was real scary and I couldn’t wait to get back inside. I still have nightmares about it.”
“I can tell by your pale skin and flabby body that you don’t go outside to play baseball, basketball, soccer or football with your friends. Don’t you like sports?”
“What you talkin’ about man, I play video football all the time. “Madden is rad and The Ravens are awesome.”
“Did you know that ravens are actual birds that live outdoors?”
“Yeah, if you say so. Hey, what’s that bright thing shining in my face. It’s hurting my eyes.”
“That’s the sun, Drew, and if you turn your cap around the bill of your cap will shade the rays from your eyes. That’s why there are bills on caps.”
“Hey, that’s pretty cool,” said a shocked Drew. “That works pretty good. Who would have ever guessed? Oh no,” he exclaimed as he assumed some sort of karate-like defensive position, “Who are they?”
“They would be your neighbors Drew.”
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