Sunday, August 09, 2020

Lee Pitts: Stuff I Learned From Cows

Cows are supposedly “dumb” animals and yet I have learned a lot from them, such as…
1. Don’t shoot the bull.
2. If someone wants to load you up and take you to town put up a big fight. There is danger lurking there.
3. When your offspring become of age and leave home no amount of bawling will bring them back.
4. Piercings, notches, tattoos and brands hurt and make it easier for BIG Brother to identify you.
5. The way to acquire a small fortune in the cattle business is to start with a large one.
6. Don’t allow yourself to be driven by an unruly mob. Especially don’t get stampeded. You could get hurt and it will only result in you going round and round in circles.
7. Hogs have no place on a cow ranch.
8. Stay close to your youngsters at all times. If you must go leave them with a good babysitter.
9. Hide when people gang up and come looking for you because whenever you meet in large groups no good can come of it.
10. Never go swimming unless you can keep your head above water with your feet firmly on the ground.
11. The biggest thing wrong with the world is that there are far too many people in it.
12. If you get caught in a squeeze just stand quietly, take your medicine and get it over with as quick as possible.
13. Offspring are far better off being raised by the female of the species.
14 Life is sexually transmitted.


No comments: