This smart toilet can read your anus like a fingerprint, say scientists

Scientists at Stanford University have developed a smart toilet that can identify people based on their butt and monitor the health of their poop and pee.The smart toilet, which the Stanford team published an article about this week in Nature Biomedical Engineering, was designed as a continuous health monitoring device, like a smart watch. It uses cameras and motion sensors to identify "a range of disease markers in stool and urine," including colon cancer and prostate cancer. It also has a built-in identification system. The smart toilet's flush lever is equipped a fingerprint reader, and cameras in the toilet bowl can identify people's butts. "We know it seems weird, but as it turns out, your anal print is unique," Gambhir said...MORE

The smart toilet uses multiple pressure and motion sensors to detect when someone's about to use it, and identifies them with biometrics.

The toilet then sends the data it collects to a cloud server.

We know the feds claim authority to regulate toilets under the Commerce Clause of the Constitution. For instance:

• The Mine Safety & Health Administration says, "sanitary toilets shall have an attached toilet seat with a hinged lid and a toilet paper holder together with an adequate supply of toilet tissue."

• The Occupational Safety & Health Administration says construction sites with 20 employees or more shall provide "1 toilet seat and 1 urinal per 40 workers."

• The U.S. Access Board requires most restrooms to have at least one "accessible" toilet in buildings covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act, which means, in part, a toilet seat at a height of 17 inches to 19 inches. Springs to return seats to a lifted position aren’t allowed.

Our illustrious Congress, claiming authority under the Commerce Clause, passed the Energy Policy Act of 1992, which mandates a maximum flush volume of no more than 1.6 gallons per flush.

Perhaps we should now refer to this as the Commode Clause or the Caga Clause of the Constitution.

If the feds can regulate toilet seats and mandate maximum flush volumes in toilets, how long will it be before they mandate Smart Toilets?  Instead of a Chicken in Every Pot  it will be A Smart Pot In Every Home.

The NSA will have to expand their one millions sq. ft. facility in Utah so that in addition to every phone call and email, they can also retain all of our shit data.

Someone will have to enforce this mandate, so I predict we will soon have a Department of Shit to accomplish this dirty deed.

If Joe Biden wins the election, who do you think will be the first Secretary of Shit in our nation's history?