It's The Pitts: Certified Free Beef

Lee Pitts

The past few years niche markets for beef have developed that conscientious ranchers and companies have tried to fill. The natural and organic niches were profitable for producers until Wal Mart and the Big Chains turned those products back into commodities. To keep ahead of them, and to supply an increasingly fussy consumer, ranchers will have to develop new niche markets in the future. Like these:

Cowboy Free: Sad to say, some sophisticated “foodies” don’t like cowboys, the west or cattle. But they still like to eat beef. These people don’t like the fact that some people are allowed to own vast tracts of private property either, so this beef will be produced by a collective of liberal lesbians in La Jolla in petri dishes, or by Monks in Massachusetts. It will cost $600 per pound and taste like mud.

Rain Forest Free Beef: In response to the conversion of the Amazon rainforest to pasture, some consumers will want to purchase beef that is rain forest free. Most of these animals will come from the Arizona desert and parts of North Dakota and the Pacific Northwest where the ground is so hard they must use rocks for fence posts.

Home Raised: Beef from teenage cattle that will be raised in a home. To qualify, cattle must have a roof over their heads, three square meals a day, their own room, allowance, iPod and TV. To be sure you’re getting certified “Home Raised” beef look for the label that says: “All measures were taken to relieve this animal’s boredom.”

Fat Free Beef: This will come from Mexican crossbred cattle that have been roped so often their bellies rub up against their backbones. Because consumers want a “healthier” product, any fat found in the roping steer carcasses will be replaced with chemicals. This beef will have the shelf-life of toilet paper and will be sold in cardboard boxes. With proper seasoning (included), the box will taste better than the beef.

Painless Beef: To qualify for this niche the animals will be raised without the use of hot shots, whips, squeeze chutes, cuss words or anything else that might make an animal uncomfortable. There will not be any castration, branding or vaccination and the beef must come from animals that died of old age.

On The Hoof Beef: For people afraid of food for safety reasons, they’ll be able to purchase live animals and process the cattle themselves in their own backyard. This way they’ll be able to pinpoint exactly who to blame when they get sick.

Lactose Free: Beef from animals that were taken away from their mothers at birth so they couldn’t nurse. Obviously, cows that suck themselves will not qualify.

Water Neutral Dry Aged Beef: In the future water will be king so this beef will be produced without the aid of any irrigated crops. Water neutral bovines will only have access to naturally occurring water sources such as puddles and golf course water hazards. Qualifying cows must return to Mother Earth 100% of the water and carbon they consume as audited by Bernie Madoff.

Certified Free Beef: What the consumer of the future will really want is scrumptious beef that will also make you lose weight, is good for the environment and doesn’t cost anything. Although there will be huge demand for such a product it will be as rare as Martha Stewart linens and pillows in a Nevada bunkhouse.

Cruelty Free Beef: This does not refer to the cattle but to the people who raise it. The demand for such beef will be in response to the poor working conditions in third world countries and on our farms and ranches. Such beef will come from ranchers and cowboys who were never subjected to any abuse or harsh working conditions. To produce beef for this niche ranchers must earn a livable income above minimum wage, have health insurance and a pension comparable to that received by postal service employees. Needless to say, this beef will be harder to find than Certified Free Beef.

Song Of The Day #120

Our Gospel tune today is Loretta Lynn singing If I Could Hear My Mother Pray Again.

It's available on her Hymns CD.

Bill would give president emergency control of Internet

Internet companies and civil liberties groups were alarmed this spring when a U.S. Senate bill proposed handing the White House the power to disconnect private-sector computers from the Internet. They're not much happier about a revised version that aides to Sen. Jay Rockefeller, a West Virginia Democrat, have spent months drafting behind closed doors. CNET News has obtained a copy of the 55-page draft of S.773 (excerpt), which still appears to permit the president to seize temporary control of private-sector networks during a so-called cybersecurity emergency. The new version would allow the president to "declare a cybersecurity emergency" relating to "non-governmental" computer networks and do what's necessary to respond to the threat. Other sections of the proposal include a federal certification program for "cybersecurity professionals," and a requirement that certain computer systems and networks in the private sector be managed by people who have been awarded that license. "I think the redraft, while improved, remains troubling due to its vagueness," said Larry Clinton, president of the Internet Security Alliance, which counts representatives of Verizon, Verisign, Nortel, and Carnegie Mellon University on its board. "It is unclear what authority Sen. Rockefeller thinks is necessary over the private sector. Unless this is clarified, we cannot properly analyze, let alone support the bill."...cnetnews

DOJ Budget Details High-Tech Crime Fighting Tools

The release of the 2010 budget request has shed more light on some FBI surveillance programs the bureau is currently developing and testing. The budget request shows that the FBI is currently developing a new "Advanced Electronic Surveillance" program which is being funded at $233.9 million for 2010. The program has 133 employees, 15 of whom are agents. According to the budget documents released Thursday, the program, otherwise known as "Going Dark," supports the FBI's electronic surveillance intelligence collection and evidence gathering capabilities, as well as those of the greater Intelligence Community. Another high-tech program includes the development of the Biometric Technology Center, a joint Justice, FBI and DoD program. Building the center will cost $97.6 million and will serve as a research and development center for biometric technology. Last year, the FBI announced it would partner with the University of West Virginia to establish the center. Eventually, the Biometric project will be a vast database of personal data including fingerprints, iris scans and DNA which the FBI calls the Next Generation Identification (NGI)...ABCNews

ACLU Demands Info on DHS Computer Searches at Borders

The ACLU demands information on the Department of Homeland Security's policy on searching laptop computers at international borders. The DHS' Customs and Border Protection office announced in July that it can search electronic devices and any printed material carried by travelers regardless of whether they are suspected of anything - a statement one senator called "truly alarming." Such searches, made without suspicion of any legal infraction, violate civil rights, according to the complaint, which quotes Senator Russell Feingold as calling the practice "truly alarming." A bill pending in Congress would require DHS to base such searches on reasonable suspicion. The ACLU says the DHS blew off its Freedom of Information Act request for information about the policy. The ACLU wants to see the records on the practice, including policies regarding the criteria for selecting travelers to search and whether any procedures are followed if information is business-related or legally privileged. It also seeks records on whether the information is circulated among other government agencies, statistics reflecting the number of travelers subjected to suspicionless searches, and statistics reflecting the racial profiles of travelers who are subjected to such searches. The ACLU is represented by house counsel Jameel Jaffer...CourhouseNews

Gun groups to sue over Montana-made and retained firearms

The Montana Shooting Sports Association (MSSA) and the Second Amendment Foundation (SAF) have formed a strategic alliance to litigate the principles of the Montana Firearms Freedom Act (MFFA), passed by the 2009 Montana Legislature and signed into law by Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer. The MFFA declares that any firearms made and retained in Montana are not subject to any federal authority, resisting Congress’s dramatically expanded use of the interstate commerce clause to justify Washington’s regulation of virtually all of the private economy. The MFFA also applies to firearm accessories and ammunition. The primary purpose of the MFFA is to set up a legal challenge to federal power under the commerce clause. MSSA and SAF expect to mount this legal challenge by filing a suit for a declaratory judgment to test the principles of the MFFA in federal court on October 1st, the day the Montana law becomes effective. The concept of the Firearms Freedom Act has caught fire nationwide. Tennessee has passed a clone of the MFFA. Other clones have been introduced in the legislatures of Alaska, Texas, Florida, South Carolina, Minnesota and Michigan. Legislators in 19 other states have indicated that they will introduce MFFA clones soon or when their legislatures next convene...PressRelease

Second Amendment cases up early

The Supreme Court will consider two new cases on the scope of individuals’ Second Amendment right to have guns at its first Conference for the new Term, on Sept. 29, according to the Court’s electronic docket. Both petitions challenge a Seventh Circuit Court ruling that the Amendment does not restrict gun control laws adopted by state, county or city government, but applies only to federal laws. The cases are National Rifle Association v. Chicago (08-1497) and McDonald v. Chicago (08-1521). The so-called “incorporation” issue is the most significant sequel issue raised in the wake of the Court’s 2008 decision in District of Columbia v. Heller, recognizing for the first time a personal right to have a gun for self-defense, at least in one’s home...SCOTUSBLOG

Preparing for the "Second Amendment Tax Holiday"

The Second Amendment is one thing a gunsmith never forgets. Now the state's Legislature is creating Louisiana's first "Second Amendment Weekend Sales Tax Holiday." The holiday is scheduled to run from 12:01 AM on Friday, September 4th through 12 midnight, Sunday, September 6th. During this three-day period all fire arms, ammunition, and hunting supplies will be exempt from the state sales tax. Hunting supplies include archery items, hunting apparel, and miscellaneous hunting equipment. Despite the scheduled holiday, Earl Gothreaux of Hunter's Supplies and Pistol Range says gun sales have continued to peak since the Presidential elections in November. "A lot of people are buying ammunition and stocking up because they think it could be banned altogether," says Gothreaux...KPLC-TV

Shootings rampant despite gun ban

You cannot legally buy a handgun in Chicago, yet the city is the nation's most murderous city. You can own one, but only if you've owned it since before 1982, and it's registered every year with the Chicago Police Department. Gun-control advocates and gun-rights advocates don't - or can't - agree on how a city with a handgun ban can lead the nation in murders. To proponents of owning guns, it means the ban doesn't work. "Laws are only for law-abiding citizens anyway," said John Riggio, owner of Chuck's Gun Shop and Pistol Range in Riverdale. "Criminals, by definition, don't follow the law." But to proponents of regulating guns, it means the ban isn't big enough...Medill News Service

California sheriff considers allowing armed self-defense

California has long been a gun control breeding ground. It has some of the strictest gun control laws in the country, and though has a process for obtaining a license to carry a concealed handgun, it is a "may issue" permitting process meaning California sheriffs can issue licenses but only if they want to. Most don't. That may be changing for one sheriff as budget cuts have forced him to realize that some people really are on their own and need to be able to protect themselves. "I think in the interest of doing right by the public and the constituency, we had to make some acknowledgment of the fact that it's a different environment out there," said Sacramento County Sheriff John McGinness. "As things have changed, our ability to respond effectively and ensure their safety has been compromised. Therefore, I think it's only appropriate that we look at these applications with a different thought process in mind."...Examiner

Was the first government gun confiscation attempt foiled by an unsung colonial heroine?

Then, on April 18, 1775, British General Thomas Gage sent 700 trained troops to Concord, Massachusetts. On the dawn of the 19th, 70 men — farmers, clerks, storekeepers — stood fast and faced the British advance guard at Lexington Green. History does not know who fired the first shot, what Ralph Waldo Emerson called ...the shot heard round the world. And what sin, what transgression did the British commit to bring on armed conflict? They had come for their guns. Their own government had come to disarm them. The first battles of the Revolutionary War were fought over...gun control. It is, I believe, the first and only revolution in history borne of a government's attempt to remove weapons from its citizenry. There is one nagging question, though: History has long asked how the colonists knew the British were coming. There was good intelligence that let us know they were on their way and what they were coming for, and there's a fair amount of evidence that the colonists were tipped off by a woman, none other than General Thomas Gage's New Jersey-born wife, Margaret Kemble Gage, who sympathized with the Colonial cause. But, did she really? We don't know. However, even Gage himself suspected her and packed her off to England to spare himself embarrassment...BackwoodsHome

6 nabbed stealing pieces of border fence

Police in the Mexican border city of Tijuana say they have arrested six men for stealing pieces of the U.S. border fence to sell as scrap metal. Holes in the border fence once were more commonly made by migrant smugglers, but fewer people are trying to cross because of a weak U.S. economy and a crackdown on immigration. The Tijuana police department says the suspects intended to sell the steel sheeting as scrap...AP

Students' take-home assignment: Census kits

Anyone tempted to ignore the 2010 Census will have a tough time doing it — especially if they have kids in school. The government has launched Census in Schools, an all-out campaign targeting superintendents, principals, teachers, students and, indirectly, parents, as schools open across the nation this month and next. The message: The Census is coming and here's why everyone should care. The goal is to send posters, teaching guides, maps and lesson plans to every school in the nation, Puerto Rico and U.S. island territories to encourage everyone to participate in the national count. The materials will land in more than 118,000 schools and reach 56 million students. "It's great to reach the children because children are such strong voices in their homes," says Renee Jefferson-Copeland, chief of the Census schools program. "In households that are linguistically isolated, they can express the information to their parents." Between January and March, the Census Bureau will help plan a week of Census education in schools. During Census Week, teachers will devote 15 minutes every day for five days to the topic by discussing such things as civic participation, confidentiality or geography. Beginning in mid-March, more than 120 million Census questionnaires will be delivered to residential addresses. The Census Bureau is partnering with Sesame Street to extend the 2010 Census message to preschoolers and adult caregivers. Under consideration: Using Sesame Street characters on Census materials and having characters participate in school events and public service announcements...USAToday

Bureaucrats seek to abduct, maroon teen sailor

Mike Perham sailed into the record books yesterday as the youngest person to circumnavigate the globe single-handedly but his entry is under threat from a 13-year-old Dutch girl, Laura Dekker, who wants to make her own round-the-world voyage. Today she will find out whether the Dutch courts will let her do it. Laura’s parents have agreed to her plans, but the Dutch Council for Child Protection is so concerned about the potential dangers of the trip that it has asked Utrecht District Court to grant it temporary custody of her so that it can keep her on dry land...LondonTimes

Man Jailed 3 Months for DWBM - Driving With Breath Mints?

Donald May probably wishes he had just let his breath stay funky. According to May, it was his bad luck to be chewing on breath mints when he was pulled over for an expired tag on his car. The arresting officer thought the mints looked like crack cocaine and threw Mays in the slammer for drug possession. "He took [the mints] out of my mouth and put them in a baggy and locked me up [for] possession of cocaine and tampering with evidence," May explained. The story gets stranger, and May contradicts the officer's report. The officer claimed he field-tested the evidence and it tested positive for drugs. The officer said he saw May buying drugs while he was stopped at an intersection. He also stated in his report May waived his Miranda rights and voluntarily admitted to buying drugs. May said that never happened. "My client never admitted he purchased crack cocaine. Why would he say that?" attorney Adam Sudbury said. Source: WFTV Orlando May's life was turned upside down when he was unable to bond out. While in jail for three months, he lost his job, was evicted from his apartment and his car was auctioned off. May was released from jail once the Florida Department of Law Enforcement and the state attorney's office sent a letter stating that the test results confirmed there were no illegal substances...[link]

New Tools for Sustainable Farming

Environmentalists are just as fond of talking about it as are politicians, economists or marketing experts – "sustainability" has become a buzzword. The problem is that the term sustainability can refer to many things and have manifold interpretations. Agricultural scientists at the Technische Universitaet Muenchen have shed light on the subject. Together with colleagues in theoretical and applied science they have managed to give the term "sustainability" a more definite meaning. They have helped to make this multi-faceted concept quantifiable – a benefit to farmers, food manufacturers and consumers alike. The research question was: How can the sustainability status of farms with available operating data be determined and systematically improved? The goal was very ambitious – to improve the environmental balance of agricultural enterprises without compromising their operating efficiency and social performance. In years of meticulous work to this end, the team of researchers developed indicators and models to analyze, assess and optimize the sustainability of agricultural enterprises. After all, sustainable farming really does benefit everybody: It conserves natural resources, saves energy, reduces the need for pesticides and fertilizers, and fosters a healthier environment, more competitive farms and safe foodstuffs. Thanks to their new indicator model, the TUM researchers are now able to describe agricultural enterprises as systems based on their material and energy flows...USNews

Looting of Indian artifacts targeted: Federal crackdown reveals depth of criminal intrigue

What has become the nation's biggest crackdown on dealers of black-market Native American artifacts doesn't lack for intrigue. Armed raids. Secret informers. Sacred objects. Since the investigation began 2 1/2 years ago, 26 people, including a number of well-known antiquities collectors, have been charged in three states. Two suspects committed suicide, one of those a former Scottsdale resident. One man is charged with threatening the life of an informant who spearheaded the inquiry. Using a paid informant identified only as "the Source," agents of the FBI and Bureau of Land Management purchased sacred Hopi kachina masks, Navajo pendants, Pueblo pottery and other artifacts from more than two dozen figures in the Four Corners states of Utah, Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona. Court records say the civilian operative spent $335,000 buying more than 250 apparently illicit objects. Federal investigators estimate that four-fifths of the nation's archaeological sites have been plundered by amateur collectors and professional thieves. The Four Corners case was nicknamed Cerberus Action in honor of a mythological three-headed dog that guards the gates of Hades. It has been touted by the Interior Department as America's "largest ever undercover operation" targeting looters. Since December 2006, court records say, an informant has been paid more than $224,000 to infiltrate the "network of criminals who pillage archaeological sites." The Source was equipped with video and audio devices as he made deals. Some suspects bragged about illegally obtaining artifacts, pointing out their looting grounds on maps. One defendant vowed to die in a gunfight with federal agents. Another was arrested after he threatened to "take care of" the paid informant. According to affidavits, the Source was an antiquities dealer for years before he began working with investigators in 2007. Federal authorities say he has no criminal history and volunteered to help because he was outraged by the black market...azcentral

Wolves kill 120 sheep at ranch near Dillon

Kathy Konen has lost guard dogs to wolves in the past, but nothing prepared the Dillon rancher for the killing of 120 buck sheep last week. "They were in the sagebrush, on the creek bottom - just all over the pasture," Konen said Thursday. "It's a terrible loss to our livestock program." Konen said they discovered the attack Aug. 16 while checking their sheep in the Rock Creek drainage of the Blacktail Mountains south of Dillon, where they pasture buck sheep in summer. She said they check their sheep every two or three days, so the attack was recent. She and her husband, Jon, immediately called officials with the Montana Department of Fish, Wildlife and Parks, which sent out a federal trapper to investigate the scene. The trapper found numerous carcasses of sheep that had been killed by wolves, said Carolyn Sime, FWP wolf program coordinator. The total included 82 confirmed kills and 40 carcasses that were classified as probable kills, including some that had been eaten by bears. The attack occurred on private land the Konens own. It's not the first attack that the Konens have had this summer. They lost 26 sheep to wolves in the same pasture in July, she said. After that attack, FWP authorized federal trappers to remove three wolves that had been observed in the area...BillingsGazette

On Energy, Obama Finds Broad Support

Most Americans approve of the way President Obama is handling energy issues and support efforts by him and Democrats in Congress to overhaul energy policy -- including the controversial cap-and-trade approach to limiting greenhouse gas emissions, according to a Washington Post-ABC News poll. Even as public support has slipped for Obama's health-care proposals, support for ambitious changes in energy policy has been steady. Although the issue of health care arouses more intense feelings than energy policy does, those who do feel strongly about energy and climate policy tend to tilt toward the administration's position and a broad majority of people echo Democratic lawmakers' views on the benefits of proposed changes. Nearly six in 10 of those polled support the proposed changes to U.S. energy policy being developed by Congress and the administration. Fifty-five percent of Americans approve of the way Obama is handling the issue, compared with 30 percent who do not. A narrower majority, 52 to 43 percent, back a cap-and-trade system; that margin is unchanged since June...WPOst

EPA says wells in Wyoming show possible pollution from frac'ing

Government scientists believe they have found indications that natural-gas drilling activities may have polluted groundwater sources in Wyoming. Scientists testing water from domestic wells in the area around Pavillion, Wyo., for the Environmental Protection Agency say they have found methane gas, hydrocarbons, lead and copper in water from the well of a rancher named Louis Meeks. When Meeks submitted water from a second well, according to reports published by the ProPublica nonprofit news organization, the same substances were detected. Scientists reportedly found traces of those and other contaminants, known to be used in drilling procedures, in 11 of 39 wells tested since March. The company with wells near Meeks' land, the Canadian-based energy giant, EnCana, reportedly has begun supplying Meeks' ranch with potable water until further tests can be completed. This reportedly is the first time the EPA has undertaken its own water analysis in response to complaints of contamination in drilling areas...PostIndependent