Sunday, July 20, 2008

I just want to rope
Cowgirl Sass & Savvy

Julie Carter

Cowboys love good horses, cold beer and pretty women, and not necessarily in that order.

Let's tune in to our token team roper Dan's love life for an example of the possible entertainment value.

A couple of years ago, Dan hooked up with Prissy, and his life changed quickly and drastically.

The first thing she did was make Dan upgrade his trailer house with a hot water heater. Until then, a tank heater in the tub before he left for work warmed the water enough for a bath when he got home. He even missed roping on a Saturday to get the water heater installed, indicative of true love.

It took about a year, but the flush of new romance wore off. His bright orange leatherette couch with the tufted bird dog in the center had disappeared. So did his recliner that was worn in only a few places.

Moving from bachelorhood to significant other-hood was expensive. The heart-stopping bills for the new furniture arrived in the mail just before the letter from the lawyer. Prissy was moving out.

A ton of her friends swooped in to help pack and move, none of which seemed to be around during the arrival phase. It took two days for them to pack up all the new dishes.

According to Dan, who grabbed the dog and slipped out the back door, the women on the crew looked mean and unhappy, much like a roommate he recalled that complained of constipation.

They left Dan with a five-gallon bucket and a piece of plywood for a chair and the telephone. He spent a little time scouting around to see which of his friends ended up with the orange couch. Of course, he had to ask if they had a new girlfriend yet, knowing that would determine their willingness to part with it.

Better days were ahead. A free man, Dan was able to do a lot of ropin' without a lot of explainin'.

Then it happened. A few weeks ago, he was sitting horseback at a big roping minding his own business, visiting with his friend and roping partner, the pretty, blonde Sally. Up rides this pushy gal, forces her horse between him and Sally. She then strikes up an overly friendly conversation with Dan using all her feminine wiles.

Dan knew who she was from his work. He also knew who her husband was and none of this was looking very healthy for him. He quickly deducted she was making a move for him and at all costs, he needed to keep from getting shot.

Her calls rolled into his phone. He never returned them. She confronted him at work and informed him that "that blonde" he was with at the roping was married. "So are you," he reminded her while not explaining about Sally.

In the meantime, she announced to her husband she was leaving him and marrying Dan. The news hadn't yet reached Dan, so when the husband asked him to help move a couch over to his estranged wife's apartment, he agreed.

Imagine his surprise when they shoved the couch through the door only to see, on the opposite wall, a gigantic framed photograph of Dan and his paint horse Pittsburgh heeling a steer at a recent roping.

Apparently, the gal had paid a call to the event photographer and parted with a sizeable amount of money to make a point.

Shortly after, the husband told Dan that he had come into some money, the bills were paid off and the wife had moved home to enjoy the make-up phase of their 50 millionth honeymoon.

The best part of this latest development was that Dan got the picture. It was delivered by the husband and now hangs in Dan's office. Ain't love grand.

This should be the end of the story, but isn't. The improper aggressor is back stalking Dan.

With a sigh he says, "I just want to rope."

Stay tuned. With a little help from his friends, the action heats up.

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