Sunday, January 29, 2017
Baxter Black: Mechanical problems
Installing my daughter behind the wheel and hooking up the jumper cables, I squirted jets of ether down the carburetor’s throat as my daughter ground the starter. Occasionally it would catch and a ball of flame would shoot from the two barrel!
I broke off and went to town for more ether. My daughter suggested it was outta gas. She switched the gas gauge from MAIN TANK to AUX, “See,” she said, “it’s empty.”
“No,” I explained, “You’ve just switched it wrong. See, the other tank is full.”
I used another can of ether to no avail. I released my daughter, unhooked the cables and left my pickup for the wolves.
That night I lay in my bed plotting how to pull it to the mechanic in town when my unconscious mind finally spoke up, “Dummy, switch yer tanks. Yer outta gas!”
Which I was. I haven’t confessed to my daughter yet, so if she doesn’t read this column I’ll still retain my position as “The Perfect Father.” Unfortunately, Bruce’s whole family was there when Mr. Lanham diagnosed his mechanical problem.
Bruce was a recent arrival to northeast Missouri. As the new Extension Service man from California, he was making big waves. Because everyone knows that California produces people on the cutting edge of agricultural technology!
Bruce’s tractor was on the blink. Either the transmission or the linkage was fouled. “I’ve checked it thoroughly,” he told his wife and kids, “I’d better call Mr. Lanham.”Mr. Lanham is to the age where he doesn’t worry about coddling.