Sunday, May 06, 2018
Baxter Black: Classified Ads (Interpreted)
COWBOY (at least own a hat), REMOTE CAMP (applicant must be able to work a parachute), SELF STARTER (rooster furnished). NO PROBLEM DRINKERS (wait! On the other hand, you might fit right in). MUST SHOE (if you can't shoe we'll furnish you with a burro). GOOD WAGE (hundred a month but where you're goin' there's no place to spend it anyway), INSURANCE (I'm kidding, of course) AND GROCERIES (all the other help likes navy beans).
SEND RESUME TO WANG SNAFFLE, 2 BIT RANCH, WIKIEUP, AZ.
RANGE CUBES (called this because our cubes range in size from 4×4 sheets of plywood to dust) NOW AVAILABLE (we bought a train load of this stuff in 2005 and still have half of it left) ALL NATURAL INGREDIENTS (25% wood shavings, 25% Johnson grass clippings, 24% salt mine tailings and 1% dried catfish waste).
BAGGED OR BULK, WE DELIVER (from a Copenhagen lid full to enough to dam the Arkansas River).
CONTACT DOWN & OUT MILLING CO., WAMEGO, KS.
RANCH TO SELL:
SCENIC (unbroken vista. Only three trees on the place and they grow at forty-five degree angle), 7,500 ACRES (2% deeded), FOUR MILES OF BOTTOM LAND (we cut hay off the bar ditch where the interstate crosses the ranch), GOOD WINTER PROTECTION (we've been scattering old car bodies around the ranch since 1982), WATER (every fifty years the Tongue River Floods), EXCELLENT TERMS (one fourth down and a member of your family as collateral).
CALL TODAY! BLUE SKY REALTY, MILES CITY, MT.