Every once in awhile I'll hear about an
idea that makes me slap my forehead and say, "I wish I'd have thought of
that." Cow cuddling is one of those ideas.
According
to writer Linnea Zielinski, people are paying big money to cuddle and
play with cows. She says it's all part of something called "animal
centric holistic health."
To which I say, "Huh?"
Linnea
says that cow cuddling is for people who just can't get into meditation
and she insists that cuddling with a cow will slow down your heart
rate. "They will pick up on what's going inside and sense if you are
happy, sad, feel lost, anxious or are excited and they will respond to
that without judgement, ego or agenda." She also says cows are sensitive
and intuitive characters.
Frankly,
Linnea must be hanging around a different species of cow than the ones
I've raised. The ones I've owned made me anxious, excited, nervous and
contributed to at least one stroke. And anyone who says cows have no
agenda has never sorted cows in a sorting alley because they have an
agenda all right and it's to kill you!
Linnea
also refers to folks in the midwest who have cows that will hang their
heads over the fence to be petted. I can say without reservation that
having owned hundreds of cows in my lifetime I've never had a single one
do this. Horses yes, but cows no. And how does one go about "playing"
with cows? What kind of games do cows play, baseball, basketball, poker?
Monopoly maybe? I've yet to meet a single bovine who had a jump shot or
could throw a curveball. Granted, with four feet cows could have some
potential as soccer players.
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