Sunday, January 12, 2020
Lee Pitts: Rural cleansing
I could never be a homemaker. It’s waaay too much work and too much of it is of a repetitive nature. Take dusting furniture, washing dishes and vacuuming the carpet for example. You do it once and six months later you have to do it all over again. The problem is I’ve always been a dirty person by nature. I swear, I can get dirty taking a shower. And everything I like to do makes one filthy, from working in the shop to working cattle. I can even get dirty eating a sandwich and like the polar bear I do my washing up after I eat, not before.
I think the worst job a homemaker has is washing clothes. You get them all clean and before the day is over already there’s a bunch more multiplying in the hamper. This would drive me nuts.
When I worked in an oilfield compressor plant I got so dirty that during the week we’d all throw our jeans and tee shirts into a bucket of a foul smelling concoction that I think was a mixture of turpentine and gasoline. This got the oil stains out but left the clothes a little scratchy and stinky. The only time I took the clothes home and washed them in my mom’s washing machine she hit the roof because evidently I’d left behind a strong petrochemical residue in the machine that left its mark on all the clothes she washed for the next 25 years.
For the first three years my wife and I were married we couldn’t afford a washer and dryer so we had to wash all our clothes in a laundry mat that was dirtier than a bus stop bathroom. The management there had the gall to complain that my manure-stained clothes were fouling their machines. They asked us to take our business, and my smelly clothes, elsewhere.
The day my wife and I bought our first washer and dryer was probably the happiest day in our married life.