It’s not easy being a missionary
distributing religious pamphlets door to door. Home-owners will go to
extremes to avoid listening to you.
Audrey
and her husband, Walter, have a ranch in British Columbia around Fraser
Lake. They are cattle people and run the place pretty much by
themselves. Walter had gone out to check the cows one morning. After
doin’ breakfast dishes, Audrey headed out to the shop to get somethin’.
Midway she was surprised by a sneeze. It dislodged her upper plate and
they hit the gravel six feet away. In the time it took her to blink,
Daisy, her new pup raced in, scooped up the dentures and was off like a
shot!
“Here Daisy . . . here, Daisy . .
. good dog . .. yer a good puppy . . . give mama her teeth. Come, Daisy
. . . sit . . . stay . . . Daisy! Come here you miserable little excuse
for mongrel’s offspring. You paper eatin’, cat chasin’, slipper
chewin’, sorry no good . . . Here Daisy, No! No! Git over here before I
pound you into taco meat . . . !” Daisy and the old dog, Blue, were
makin’ big circles in the yard with Audrey hot on their heels
alternately coaxing and cussing the canine teeth thief!
Daisy
dropped the teeth. Just as Audrey dove for the slobbery dentures, Blue
swooped in and scooped ‘em up. Out into the driveway the three of them
raced. Back and forth between the shop and the garden fence. “Blue, come
here. Whoa, Blue . . . drop those teeth or you’ll be bear bait! Come
on, Blue . . .”
Blue smiled at her. He looked like Miss America.
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